Girls who can fix cars <3
(Source: yimmyayo)
Unforgivable.
It’s the worst when you’re forced with an ultimatum in which you have to decide between two wrong choices. I know I made the right choice out of the two, but it was still wrong. And it is causing me so much pain; mentally and physically. So here I am, in bed on a Friday night, almost writhing from the cramping and the stress, and holding back tears because I don’t want to wake my boyfriend up with my sobs. This decision is going to haunt me forever. No matter what I do, or where I end up, it will always be there in the back of my my mind. I try to tell myself that I did what was right, and in my heart I know that I did, but I can’t stop feeling like a terrible person. It’s not like the decision directly affects anyone else’s life besides mine, and it was right for me. I’m so selfish. Willing to give up something so potentially precious to better my life. When on the other hand, if I were to choose the other direction I would be screwing over 3 journeys that would be so much better later on in life, when I’m stable and ready. I just don’t know how to feel or what to do anymore. I need to be strong and responsible. Continue working as hard as I can toward this achievement I’ve been wanting for years. But how do I do that if all I want to do right now us curl up in a ball and cry out my frustrations? I thought I was strong enough to handle all of this, but it gets to a point when it becomes too much to handle. I never thought anything could affect my life this way. I don’t deserve anything I have anymore. I’m unworthy of even breathing the same air as you. And there’s no going back. But even if there were, I’d make the same decision. And that it was makes me so sick.
(Source: arsvivendi)
(Source: save-the-moment)
I always get so happpyyyy…
WHEN I’M GETTTING A TATTOO SOON! :)
can’t fucking wait.
12 Days from now..
April 12, 2006 marks the first tragic loss in my life. 12 days from now I will be mourning the only man who has ever stepped up and been a father figure to me. Michael, if you’re up there, please look out for me. Been having a hell of a time trying to do this shit on my own.
But for real though, 5 years now? Holy fuck. I can’t believe it’s been so long since you took your last breath. Since I watched for hours as the paramedics tried to revive you outside of my bedroom door.
I miss you Michael. Wish you were still here <3
